Tomorrow
by Cyhyr
Summary: Sequel to Pain. It's been a week since it happened. As much as Zexion says he forgives Demyx, does he really? Oneshot, Dexion fluff. rated m to be safe...


Tomorrow

When I look back to a week ago, I laugh to myself. _Nobodies_ can't feel fear, right? So, why is it, whenever I pass Number IX, I get this sickening _feeling_ in the pit of my stomach, and I can recognize it as fear, but I don't know how it gets there? Am I really scared of _Demyx_? The one that can't fight off anyone in the Organization?

No. It's not fear.

How can it be? Am I not apathetic anymore?

Why the _fuck_ am I asking myself so many questions?

I can't be afraid of Demyx. He stayed by me the whole time that I hurt, and he _did_ apologize. I just could never see him as such a rough little fucker- oh, how I was proved wrong, right?

And, for the record, he's not little, either.

I stretch as I wake up from a Demyx-free night- he stopped coming a few days ago, when I proved to him that I can walk without limping. The light from Kingdom Hearts shines in through my window, and I stare at it. Huh, I never thought that maybe Xemnas is leading us wrong. Demyx told me all about how Axel and Roxas- VIII and XIII- are convinced that we _do_ have hearts, and that it just takes the right person to show you where it is.

A soft knocking comes from my door. Groan. I hope it's not Vexen- he's been asking where I was the past few days and being quite persistent in finding my whereabouts. But, Demyx would always lock the door when he wasn't here, and he'd say that I'm not in when he was. So, Vexen was none the wiser, and he just kept checking back.

I throw on my cloak and open the door a crack.

Demyx.

I stand back, opening the door farther, and nod to him. He flashes a half-smile, then holds up a bag in his hand. I sniff the air discreetly, and smirk back, knowing that the bag contains food. There it goes again, the feeling in my stomach. I feel… like running. Just calling a portal and running away.

Pathetic, right?

"Zexion, I was wondering if you'd like to join me on the roof… for breakfast?" He asks. He looks like he might cry later if I don't say yes, but being _alone_? With _him_?

I'm sure I can stomach it.

"Sure, Demyx. I'll join you."

He steps back, and I close and lock the door behind me. At least the members of the Organization have morals- we don't portal into each others rooms, unless, of course, the member whose room you are entering is expecting you.

I know that Axel and Roxas both portal into each others rooms without the other expecting them, though.

We walk silently up to the roof of the castle. It's not awkward- actually, it would have been comfortable if not for my instincts telling me to run. Which, I had to push down and out of the way.

Because, I know that Demyx wouldn't do it again. He told me he wouldn't. And, I trust him. Why I trust him not to hurt me, and my stomach doesn't, is completely beyond me, though.

When we get up to the roof, Demyx leads me over to the edge, where he sits down. His legs dangle over the side as he hands me a muffin of some sort. I sit down next to him as we eat our breakfast; but I keep a ready on that portal- just in case.

"Hey, Zexion?"

"Hmm?"

"You know I'm sorry, right?"

"Yes, Demyx. I know."

He turns to me. "Well, me saying sorry is half the battle. Do you forgive me, though?"

I look away. _Do you forgive me, though?_ I don't know. I know that he did it in a fit of anger and frustration. I also know that when I screamed, he told me to shut up- he didn't ease the pain or stop.

Do I forgive him?

"I don't know, Demyx. I want to, but I don't know if I can," I say, getting up and walking away. Maybe I shouldn't just leave him, but I can't stay. My instincts are telling me that he's going to hurt me again, so I'm leaving. I open a portal, ready to walk through, and his hand clamps down on mine.

Oh, fuck. Shit, shit, shit. I shake my arm, trying to get him off, but he pulls me back and my back's against his chest and _oh, shit_ he's got me right where he wants me, I'll bet. He's going to throw me down and fuck me on the roof. "No, Demyx, please," I wince as I feel his breath on my ear, "don't hurt me again, oh, _fuck_, no…"

This is fear, I realize.

"Zexion, I'm not going to hurt you," he says quietly, and I'm reminded of his promise. _I won't do it again, Zexion, I promise_. My logical side tells me that he didn't exactly define what _it_ was, but I push it aside. He's said it out loud, he won't hurt me. I relax a little as the arm he has around my middle tightens a bit and the hand around my wrist lets go and I get another arm around my waist. He nuzzles my neck a little and whispers, "Can we try again, please?"

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"I want you, Zexion, but not… like before. I want you to enjoy it. But, if you don't want to, then I won't push you," he says.

So he _does_ want to fuck. But, do _I_ want to? He loosens his grip on my waist, and I find that I could slip out of his arms if I wanted to.

Do I want to?

…Yes.

I pull away from him, going through my portal without a second glance back. Something is pounding my chest, and I know it can't be my heart, but there's _something_ there. Maybe, it's the physical heart? The one that pumps blood, not the one that feels for someone- yes, that's the one that's pounding. It's all adrenaline- hormones, biology. I'm safe, here, in my room.

Except that this is where he fucked me before.

What if he does it again?

He'll just portal in, without asking, and pound me down again.

Where the hell did all these emotions come from??? Lust, Hurt, Fear, and now apprehension? Why, now, can I feel these things, and why is it _Demyx_ that instilled the lust, the hurt? Why am I scared around him, why am I apprehending this coming fuck that may or may not even happen?

Why can't I answer my own questions???

I lay on my bed, face down. Why did I run away, again? He did say that if I don't want it, he won't push me. _Yes, but what if he doesn't mean that?_ He's never said anything that he didn't mean before. _Doesn't mean he can't start._

Fuck it.

I get up, opening a portal to outside of Demyx's room. I'm not going to bother asking myself why I'm doing this, because I honestly don't know. I can just hope that he's in there as I knock. _Tap, tap, tap_, like a death march.

There it is again, my instincts. _Run, you shithead!_ I close my eyes, there's footsteps on the other side of the door. _RUN!!! NOW, BEFORE HE OPENS THE FUCKING DOOR, RUN!!!_ I can feel my legs twitching, and my arms, too.

The door opens.

Wait, I'm sure this is IX's room.

What's VIII doing here?

"Number VIII, where is number IX?" I ask, my appendages finally calming down. Axel, even though he's topped me before, was a sissy when _I_ topped. He _can't_ hurt me.

"Demyx?" He asks, breathy. I glance in the room, seeing a small blonde- XIII. _Oh._ "I think he went to Atlantica."

I hum in response. "Thank-you, number VIII." I go to open a portal, but turn back just before he closes the door. "May I ask, though, why are you using his room?"

He flushes a bit. "Um… well, he doesn't exactly _know_, but we needed to get away from the other members, and no one usually bugs Demyx, so…"

"I see," I say, "And, you and number XIII are an item?"

He glances back into the room. I can see a smile on the half of his face that is facing me. "Yeah." He turns back to me. "I wouldn't go to anyone else now that I've got Roxas- and he wouldn't, either. It's like having a heart, when I'm with him."

I scoff a bit. "You mean, Roxas _is_ your heart."

He nods.

I wasn't expecting that.

I shake my head. How can they be so stupid as to even _think_ that they can get a heart through another heartless being?"Then I'll leave you to whatever nobodies with hearts do." I open my portal to Atlantica's beachside and step inside.

I come out on the beach, seeing the calm ocean before me. When the Organization was formed, I used to portal out here often. The ocean is apathetic to it's contents, who it consumes, what it destroys. It reminds me of a nobody, in a way. Well, at least what a nobody _should_ be like. Apathetic to everything and everyone.

Why am I not like that anymore?

I not apathetic when it comes to Demyx.

I notice a stirring in the water, off that rock next to me. Curious, I go to it; the soft sounds of a sitar ring out. I find him, sitting on the rock, summoning little drops of water to ripple in the water.

I climb up onto the rock, sitting next to him. He either doesn't notice or doesn't care, because he keeps playing like I wasn't there. I listen, silently, as he plays through his songs. The sun rises over our heads, then starts to set in front of us, before he stops playing.

My "heart" is pounding again. I want to tear it out and tell it to stop fucking with my head, but I don't. He dismisses his sitar, sitting with me. He doesn't talk for a long time. The sky turns a bright pink, and I'm starting to get a little uneasy with the way he's ignoring me.

"Demyx, I apologize for my behavior earlier," I say a little above a whisper. I then stand up, ready to jump off the rock.

But, he drags me back down, onto his lap. I whimper a bit- oh _fuck_, he's going to hurt me again, isn't he???- and the arm around my waist loosens. His other hand is on my thigh, pulling me a little closer to him and holding me there. "You don't have to apologize," he says to me.

I try to relax as much as I can. I _want_ to relax completely, but I don't know if that's in my realm of possibility right now. I turn my head away from him. "Yes, I do. I shouldn't have run away. I… know- _knew_- that you won't do it again, Demyx, but I can't help being… _afraid_… around you," I explain, a little louder than my last statement.

"Zexion, you can't help what you feel. Even if it is fear, you can't help it."

What I _feel_? No, I'm a Nobody. I can't feel. _He's _a Nobody. _He_ can't feel, either.

Axel and Roxas are Nobodies. They feel, right?

Maybe, if they can do it, Demyx and I could, too?

"Like, right now, Zexion, as I'm holding you here, I feel really, _really_, happy. And, at the same time, a little sad, because I know that you don't want to be here. 'Cause you're scared. And, when you're scared, I want to comfort you- but I'm the one you're scared of, and I can't do anything about that," he continues.

A breeze come through and I shiver a little, then his arm tightens around my waist and the hand leave my thigh and brings my head to his chest. I don't resist, just let him move me around to where he wants me. I'm relaxed now. His little speech calmed me down, and I'm still a little scared, but I know that he's trying to comfort me and it makes it better.

Then his hand goes to my hip, and I can feel his humming vibrating in his chest as he rocks us back and forth. The sun almost sets- the sky is a very faint pink, but mostly blue- when I speak up. I know what I'm going to say now; I know how to word it. "Demyx?"

He stops his humming. "Yes?"

"I'm not ready to do it again, but, I'll tell you when I am," I say, "and it may be tomorrow, or it could be next year. Can you wait for however long it takes for me to get over my fear?"

I feel him smile into my hair. "Of course, Zexion. Take however long you want."

This is what I wanted, a week ago. Just being able to sleep next to him- or in his arms, whichever!- without having to fear that he's going to turn on me and fuck me. Peaceful sleep, finally, comes over me, in Demyx's arms.

I never thought that I'd miss my heart before Demyx came along. When he did, I wanted my heart so I had a reason to feel for him.

I don't think I miss my heart anymore. I've got Demyx- and he _is_ my heart.

* * *

Disclaimer: My spork tells me… "NO!!!"

A/N: -gags on fluff- HELP I'M DYING!!! I wrote fluff. -gags again-

A little Dexion for everyone on Dexion Day (9/6, for anyone who doesn't know).

Yes, if you didn't get it, go back and read Pain. _That _one is/was/(probably will be my only) a lemon-ish thing; such the reason this is rated M, too. Stories that are put together in a same-plot thing should be rated the same. 'Cuz, if I were to rate this T (which, I personally think it should be, if it were by itself) and someone who can't stomach a little lemony stuff goes back and reads the prequel, I don't want them to be yucked out. So, they're both M (one because it really is an M-rated story, the other just to follow suit).

(If that didn't make sense to anyone… um… tell me. So I can find a different way to word it…)

Sorry if you read the first one, then hoped they would go at it again. I was seriously _going to_, but it was getting too long, and it wouldn't follow the song I based it off of (Tomorrow, Avril Lavigne, don't own that either) if they went and did it again. Maybe I'll make it a trilogy and have them bunny-fuck in the next one.

Until then, though, Cyhyr is _out_.


End file.
